When I get dressed and look in the mirror, I’m often excited because I love my outfit but I’m nervous about the perceptions of others. There is so much that goes through my head before I walk out of the door. Will men say that I’m not wifey material because I'm showing a little cleavage? Will Christians say that I’m a sinner? Is this dress too short to wear to work? Is this appropriate for my body type? Or what will my mama say? When the most important question that I should ask myself is, “how do I feel about what I’m wearing?” Because my own perception of me is what matters more than anybody’s.
Do I want to get married? Yes, I do. Do I want to be a servant of God? Yes, I do. Do I want to be a CEO? Yes, I do. But to be those things I must first be confident and happy with who I am as a woman, how I feel about who I’m looking at in the mirror, and how she defines me. That is called confidence. We should focus more on this, rather than the clothes on my body that in your opinion I should or shouldn’t wear. I’m not saying that a woman should not consider her clothing and whether she’s revealing too much, but what I’m saying is who defines what’s appropriate and inappropriate. One person’s definition is completely different from another. Some old school, some new school. For example, I’ve seen some First Ladies in the church over the years wearing hats and suits faithfully, but today I see some First Ladies in pants, halter tops, crop tops and look very tasteful, might I add.
The word of God says in 1 Timothy 2: 9-10 “…women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.”
Let’s talk a little bit about what that means. It doesn’t mean anti-fashion and that you have to walk around simple and plain, but it’s more so about Godly ways and presenting yourself in a manner that demonstrates that you’re a Christian. I think we should worry more about a woman who’s covered from head toe but cursing nonstop and keeping up mess, rather than a woman in a sundress with her back out but exuding gracefulness and class. To me, that’s modest. Some people will be dressy and more stylish, while others are fine with a more simple style. There is no harm either way, but being sensitive to the Holy Spirit and your values is always the IT Fashion. It’s also a cultural thing. Women in the Bible were living in a completely different time. I believe that we should wear what’s culturally presentable and respectful for today.
What do you do when the woman you look at in the mirror is showing a little cleavage happens to be a Christian but feels amazing in her outfit? “take it off.” That’s what my mama would say, but what I would say is ask yourself some questions. Not questions regarding the perceptions of others? But questions regarding the perceptions of yourself. After gathering feedback from a variety of men and women of different ages and backgrounds. Here are the questions that I came up with:
1. Do I feel any convictions in my spirit telling me not to wear that outfit? or to wear it. You know that gut feeling that tells you when you’re doing something wrong. That could be the Holy Spirit speaking to you.
2. Where am I going in this outfit? Am I going to church, work, a date, a concert. Because some outfits are inappropriate for certain environments. Me personally, I wouldn’t wear a halter top sundress to church. Would I wear it on a date or to brunch, yes!
3. What image do I want to portray and is this outfit the best choice for that image? For example, do I want to be the boss of this department or a general employee? If it’s the boss, I would choose business professional and business casual attire, not something you would typically throw on to wear to a lounge after work. If you are going on a date wear something cute and appealing, but not something that would make the man get the wrong idea at the end of the night. For example, you can wear a cute dress that shows your curves, but I wouldn’t wear one with your butt and breast hanging out. Keep it classy. You won’t him to focus on you, not your body. However, I do realize that his lustful thoughts are his problem.
4. Do I feel beautiful in this outfit? If you don’t, take it off. You should feel amazing in whatever you wear. Whether it’s yoga pants or dress. If I’m second guessing my outfit, normally I’m going to feel uncomfortable in it and less confident. Wear what you’re comfortable in and what makes you feel most confident.