Have any of you ever had girlfriends that seem to fall off the face of the earth the minute they get a man? Or do you have those married friends who only make girl time when it’s convenient for the hubby? You know, that infamous text that says something along the lines of “Hey, Ben is going out of town this weekend, do you want to hang out,” or that awkward conversation when she says, “I need to find some married friends.” And you’re sitting there like, “oh really?”
Take a look at my friends standing around me in the picture above. One thing that they all have in common is that they are either married or seriously dating someone. There are times when I wish things were how they used to be, but when I think about their stories I am filled with joy. Many of them I’ve cried with, laughed with and stood in the gap praying with for the amazing men God has now placed in their lives. To find real love is a perfect gift from God, and I’ve always been extremely supportive and happy for each of them. Because of that, I’m also understanding of the fact that they are building a life-long commitment with someone. They may not have time for girl’s night and may not jump on a plane for a weekend girls trip as quick as they used to, but when I think of the definition of a friend, my friends fit that description because they are there for me when I need them. When I call, they answer. When they haven't heard from me in a while, they pick up the phone to see how I am and still make room for girl time every now and then. I would rather have true genuine friends like this, then someone whose only worried about partying, drinking and other things that don’t really matter.
You may be thinking, well should things really change now that she’s married and has a few kids? My answer is YES! Because I believe that we are supposed to “leave to cleave” Gen 2:24. Meaning that, we are supposed to leave our father, mother, and FRIENDS to become one with the love of our lives. If things didn’t change, people would then start saying things like, “I thought she was married but she’s out every weekend. Does she ever spend time with her husband?” Now, does this mean that a married woman should drop their friends? NO! Should she not spend time with her friends? NO! If you think your friend has truly fallen off as a friend and you feel some type of way about it, be woman enough to talk to your friend and have a conversation. Sometimes we create our own issues by simply making assumptions. You don’t know what she’s dealing with in her life. Now, if she has no valid reason and simply does not care, then you may need to reevaluate your friendship with that person. Maybe their season is up!
I’m not in a relationship and I have never been married, but I believe that there is something that I get from my friends that make me better for my personal relationships. For example, there are things that I can talk about with my girls that a man can’t help me with. For example, a man! When I get with my girls we talk about those things that only your sisters can relate to. We share ideas, thoughts, celebrate each other and pray for one other. My prayer for you today is that you will take a moment to reflect on your friendships and make sure that you haven’t lost or on the verge of losing them. Call to check on your friends, schedule monthly outings, and support each other. Also, if you are married, reach back and teach your single friends what you’ve learned. If they are struggling with bad relationships or need to work on themselves, speak the truth in love. You have been able to accomplish something that they have not, maybe there is something that you know that they don’t.
A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17
Check out these tips on what you can do to keep healthy friendships going, Girl Time!!!