We often quote the scripture that says “when a man finds a wife he finds a good thing,” but today I find that many men think just the opposite. They think they are the gift, which is one of the craziest things about dating today! In a society where men are outnumbered by women, it has developed a pack of men who are choosy lovers. As a result, I often hear that some men struggle with being faithful in their relationships or making the decision to commit or get married because they think there could be someone better out there. I understand that women tend to outnumber men. In fact, African American women outnumber black men by 1.5 million due to jail or death, according to the New York Times. This is an outstanding statistic, but I want to remind men and whoever else is reading this of the late Bobby Womack’s words, “You see GOD, if HE see that you don't want something that's good for you HE takes it away and give it to somebody else that HE feels that can use it.” Bobby Womack, “I’m Through” Facts of Life.
Any man who is in a relationship with a woman or dating her and leading her to believe that the relationship is headed somewhere while he is considering walking away the minute miss perfect comes along is a person who is double minded, selfish and maybe even arrogant or ignorant to what God intended a wife to be. None of that is of God! If he hasn’t worked those issues out within himself, he is not ready to be in a healthy relationship with any woman. I think that many people have false expectations as to what a husband or wife should be and what a marriage should look like. One thing it’s definitely not is perfection, but it is the joining of two imperfect people together to accomplish the perfect will of God. In addition to that, what makes a man think that he has the authority to judge a woman so hard? Matthew 7:5 says “how can you look at the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but not see the log in your own eye?” How can he not see that when a woman receives him that she too is receiving a flawed individual? How can he not know that there is someone better than him?
This may not be true for all men, but for those who feel like this, the fact is, yes there could be someone better out there depending on how you define it, but what God gives you is always the best for you. He is the main source that anyone should consult regarding a romantic partnership, especially when it comes to marriage. So the question isn’t whether or not there’s someone better, but rather “God what is Your best for me?” After conducting more research on this topic, I also discovered another common reason men often ponder the question of whether or not there is someone better than who he’s with is due to his past. Whether it is past issues and lingering hurt from old relationships or the exposure to unhealthy relationships growing up as a child, it all contributes to an internal vow not to commit to the wrong person. This fear can cause him to fail at a number of relationships, and even lose amazing women that could potentially be the love of his life. This is a common thing with a variety of men, but even more common with African American men in America who at high numbers grew up without fathers in their life or home. Ladies pray for the men you know and that he will not fall victim to this fear. Pray that his steps will be ordered by the Lord, as the steps of a good man are according to the word of God. (Psalm 37:23)